Sunday, May 2, 2010



so, i have a pretty screwed up cell phone. the screen is busted on the inside so that it is about 90% covered with what looks like an ink blot. therefore, i can see that i get text messages but have no idea who they are from or what they say other than a single word here or there.

i have been getting a lot of texts lately. if any of you have been writing me, i am sorry if it seems like i am ignoring you - i just can't write back or even know that it is you who is writing i am eligible for a new phone at the end of june but until then i am textless.

this is an unfortunate circumstance for a guy who has the conversational phone skills of a chubby and hyper 7th grade girl with a thick retainer in her mouth and a propensity to blurt out single-sentence expletives about her parents' messy divorce in between awkward jokes involving people who don't like her. ...yes, i am describing a girl i knew in seventh grade who would not go out with me...i wasn't cool enough.

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