Thursday, June 11, 2009

Recovering Gardening Addicts 12 Step Bible

Not really. But thumbing through a recent catalog from CBD, Christian Book Distributors, here are some of the kinds of Bibles being peddled:
- Thinline Bible (as opposed to the fatline, those stink)
- The Open Bible
(doesn't have a cover? Can't close? How's this a good idea? How does it work?)
- Leadership Bible
- Life Principles Bible
- Life Application Bible
- Life in the Spirit Bible
- Journaling Bible
- New Spirit Filled Life Bible
- Chronological Bible
- Key Word Study Bible
- Companion Bible
(this Bible is your friend since you probably don't have any)
- Scofield Study Bible III
(must be Revenge of the Study Bible)
- Annotated Reference Bible

- Apologetics Study Bible
- Giant Print Edition
- Super Giant Print Reference Bible
(take THAT Giant Print & Reference ones!)
- Chain Reference Study Bible
- The Evidence Bible
- Large Print Wide Margin Bible
- King James 1611 Edition
- Daily Bible
- Recovery Devotional Bible
- Women's Devotional Bible
- Men's Devotional Bible
- Couples' Devotional Bible
- The Journey
(trying to trick you into not realizing it's a Bible?)
- True Identiy: The Bible for Women
- Life Recovery Bible
- New Believer's Bible
- Compact Bible (for shortys? T?)
- Celebrate Recovery Bible
- Ultraslim Bible (not to be confused with the Thinline Bible, both of these are necessary)
- American Patriot's Bible (I just threw up in my mouth)
- Women's Study Bible (not the study women Bible, to be clear)
- Woman, Thou Art Loosed Bible
- Conversations - The Message Study Bible
- Remix 2.0 for Students
- Amplified Bible
- Parallel Bible
- Economy Bible
- Economy Bible, Mass Market Edition
- Pew Bible
- Updated Reader's Pew Bible
- Witness Bible (like if you saw a crime and are going to have to testify?)
- Gift and Award Bible
- Minister's Bible
- Serendipity Bible
- Adventure Bible
- Hands on Bible
- Illustrated Study Bible for Kids
- Children's Bible
- Backpack Bible
- Explorer's Bible (totally different than the Adventure Bible, duh)
- Children's Ministry Resource Bible
- True Images: the Bible for Teen Girls
- A One Minute Bible for Students (I actually appreciate this one and give it out free to our students)
- Metal Bible
- Duct Tape Bible
- Axis: A Study Bible for Teens (right...because if it's for teens you have to try to brand it with a word that has X in it)
- The Geneva Bible, 1560 Edition (take that KJV 1611 version! You thought you were vintage! Ding dong!)
- Biblingual Bible
- Here's Hope New Testament
- Serenity Bible (unfortunately not the Serenity Now Bible. That would be awesome)
- Go Bible (cheerleader's Bible?)
- WowBible
- Talking Bible (these last three are all eBibles. There's an app for that.)
- The One Year Bible (did this one. Actually a good way to read through the whole thing.)
- The Power of a Praying Woman Bible that's a ridiculously long list and it doesn't even scratch the surface. I was just talking in with Pastor Mark the other day about when it's appropriate to get a new Bible. He said about once every 3 years or when you wear it out. Of course, you can't throw out your "old" Bibles. So what do you do with them? They sit on a shelf. I have an RSV that was presented to my dad on June 12, 1960. I'm not getting rid of it. But I also can't read it. It would fall apart. And Chip Mahaney and I were talking about how getting a new Bible does help boost some motivation to keep reading Scripture everyday. But some of these? Come on... just marketing.

They say the Bible is the most published and best selling book ever and I'm guessing (one of) the most under-read? Golfer's Bible, Gopher's Bible, Your Mama Bible, whatever... Should we really be marketing and peddling the Holy Scriptures? Something ironical...I have a new one ordered that's on backorder.

Tolle lege, Tolle lege.

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