Saturday, September 27, 2008

Oh. My.



It's like a train wreck. You can't help but watch. In horror. While laughing. And feeling strange inside.

Friday, September 26, 2008


AAA study: 46 percent of teens text while driving

What're they supposed to do, pull over every 45 seconds?

According to a national survey of 1,000 16- and 17-year-old drivers released on July 10 by AAA, 46 percent send text messages with their cell phones while driving.

To the folks at AAA, that's a high number, with alarming safety implications.

To Albuquerque 18-year-old Jesse Gallagher, it's par for the course.

"I bet it's even more than that," he said on July 10.

Gallagher doesn't know how many times he texts in a day, but said he receives or sends a text message about every 45 seconds to a minute.

"You learn to text without looking," he said. "Then it gets easier."

Maybe not quite easy enough. About a month ago, Gallagher said, he was involved in an accident that "was really the other guy's fault."

"I was texting and the guy cut in front of me," he said. "Then I looked up and he put on his brakes and I didn't have enough time to stop."

Gallagher also said he has been cited for talking on his cell phone while driving.

To AAA, distractions while driving are a critical safety problem.

"Motor vehicle crashes are the No. 1 killer of teens, claiming more than 6,000 15- to 20-year-olds each year," AAA New Mexico spokeswoman Jeannie Chavez said in a press release. "Their attention should not be divided among phones, friends and the road."

The Albuquerque Tribune

Texting while driving is more dangerous than drink-driving

Texting while driving is riskier than driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, a study has suggested.

The Transport Research Laboratory found that motorists who use their mobile phone to send text messages while on the road dramatically increase the likelihood of collision.

Their reaction times deteriorated by 35 per cent, much worse than those who drank alcohol at the legal limit, who were 12 per cent slower, or those who had taken cannabis, who were 21 per cent slower.

In addition, drivers who sent or read text messages were more prone to drift out of their lane, the research found, with steering control by texters 91 per cent poorer than that of drivers devoting their full concentration to the road. (emphasis mine)

The UK Times Online

Commit to Vote & Be Released

So you too can get this sweet version of I Shall Be Released by Wilco & Scotty recommended Fleet Foxes. All you have to do is say you're going to vote. For Obama. Just kidding. They don't tell you who to vote for.

http://wilcoworld.net/vote/

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

abridged




so...i used to be like this guy.

now, i am proud to say, i am more like on of the old ladies playing bridge.

that's right, sabrina and i are taking a class to learn to play bridge. we plan to make a living posing as volunteers in nursing homes claiming we want to learn bridge and then sharking the near-vegetables out of their life savings. what? free market.

actually, bridge seems pretty damn sweet.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Monday, September 8, 2008

York Peppermint Patties are yummy. Especially after Skyline

..though this probably looks gross, doesn't it?

sabrinkin drinkin'




on my word, sabrina was drinking with no help from anyone.

okay...so edie wins on all counts of cuteness. but it was either this or trapper john eating a carrot no-hands.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

sabrina d. ferry



well, sabrina is officially sabrina ferry!

very exciting!

unfortunately, it also created some disappointing news.

the damn people at the government offices would not allow sabrina to fulfill her dream and change her middle name to danger. she would have been sabrina danger ferry. danger would have been her middle name. apparently, this is not allowed without a meeting in court. therefore, she is sabrina bestor ferry ...for now.

my personal steps toward political success!




i wish i had known that the GOP was considering anyone with a pulse for the VP pick or i would have thrown my name in the hat for consideration. i think i would be a fantastic candidate and here is my plan to become the ideal candidate for executive office:

1) i am like you only a little different. you feel like you could have a beer with me and that my lack of surface intelligence makes me easy to relate to. see, i ended the sentence with a preposition. what's a preposition? who knows. something fancy elitists like obama created just to sound smart. they're not real.

2) i use little words. you won't get confused. you don't have to worry that i am smarter than you. i am not. you know it. that makes you feel good. hell, everyone wants to feel smarter than the president and EVERYONE is. i assure you that when i am president you will remain smarter than the president.

3) i have never had an abortion. what? it's true. i haven't. everyone else is cashing in on their lack of them and i want to as well. that is a HUGE plus these days. it is uncommon you know. the parents of everyone you have ever met are truly heroic.

4) i have a family that isn't perfect! far from it! no, you can feel good about rallying behind my socially and morally unequipped family that will be front and center when i run for office. hell, your family is screwed up - my family is screwed up - that makes me a helluva choice! obama wants to say that families are off limits. i want to say - bring it on! you can have fun defending my family that isn't actually being attacked by much of anyone!

5) mayor of a town of nearly 9,000 people, i have not been. sorry. however, there are a lot of principals in this country managing student populations larger than that and i have been to the principal's office. many times. i have also seen countless episodes of northern exposure and also feel that alaska should have independence from the united states. what does it do up there? nothing. set it free. if it comes back to you, it is yours for oil.

6) some might find this questionable but i know a kid from another country who is willing to hold me hostage for a few years. i plan to first injure his loved-ones over something that history will show to be futile, foolish and brutal to innocent women and children. after this time, i will clearly be ready for the presidency and will love my country more than anyone else. that said, i may reduce help for other people who get locked up by foreign kids when they get out but this will prove i am tough. arrrrr. see. arrrrrr. tough.

7) poor people? i hate 'em. you can count on me. just because you have a job you work hard at does not mean you have an excuse to be poor. just be rich. then you can have tax-breaks. not my fault you're poor. you are lazy. maybe your parents were lazy. not my fault. just don't be poor. it's that simple. until then you can count on me to make sure rich folks have more money that they will hopefully spend at the stores they own so that they can continue to employ you there making minimum wage you ungrateful poory-poor-poor-heads.

8) finally, i will just adopt some token word to describe me. maverick. that is pretty good. goose! even better. everyone loved goose and it is such a good rhyming word. goose on the loose in the year two-thousand double deuce! yes, there will be an unplanned election that year and i will be on the ticket because, i too, look this good in an american bikini. real or not, it is a beautiful image. nice to finally have a beauty queen involved in things.


god bless america and hail mary running-mates!